“Do Angelina Jolie’s Adopted Kids Have Hurt Parts?”

“Do Angelina Jolie’s Adopted Kids Have Hurt Parts?”

My daughter can list all of the Kardashians, but somehow never noticed Angelina Jolie until Maleficent. She’d heard of Brad Pitt. She didn’t really know who he was, but knew he was very famous. She was very impressed when I told her he was Angelina’s partner. "Wow! She’s with him? I’ve heard of him!” She was even more interested in the story when she heard about Brad and Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids.

She wanted to know the ages of all of the kids, where they were adopted from and how old they were when they came to them. We looked at pictures of the kids and of the family together. She liked seeing all the kids together—bio and adopted. “They look like a good family of lots of brothers and sisters.”

She's 13-years-old, but has only been my baby for four years. We adopted her from the foster care system when she was nine.She had a dozen homes before us. She suffers significantly from the trauma she endured before us. She has just about every form of anxiety, including PTSD, as well as insane insomnia and sensory issues.

Then she asked if the kids from orphanages have hurt parts. “Are they like me, Momma? Do they have tantrums and get mad? I’d be embarrassed if a paparazzi taped my tantrum.”

I told her adoption is always filled with loss. First, they lost their birth parents. Then they had to leave the orphanages, which were their homes, everything they knew. They had to leave behind their surroundings and country to fly to a new country with strangers who would be their parents. Just like she did when we took her from Texas to Florida.

So, yeah, I’m pretty sure they have hurt parts, I told her. I don’t see how they couldn’t.

Adoption is complicated. It is full of grief, pain, and confusion. Love and care can't wipe that out. Therapy can’t erase it. It’s there.

I told her a story I read about Pax Jolie-Pitt who Brad and Angelina adopted from Vietnam when he was three-years-old. He’s now ten. Jolie told a group of bloggers (of which I was NOT invited) that he freaked out when the kids came to see her on the set of Maleficent. He took one look at her and ran for it. He cried and hid in fear because the woman in the makeup, high cheek bones and horns was not the mother he knows.

Do Angelina Jolie’s Adopted Kids Have Hurt Parts?
(Credit Image: © face to face/ZUMA Wire)

She coaxed him into the makeup trailer to watch as they took it all off her.  She brought him to work with her the next morning so he could see them put it all on her. She realized he needed to watch the transformation to know she was still his same mom.

“Yup, sounds like hurt parts,” my sweet girl concluded. "She sounds like a good mom to try to think of what he needed to feel better. That’s what you do, too.”

Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids potentially have hurt parts and that brought my daughter so much comfort. Sometimes she feels like she’s damaged and unworthy, but hearing about other adopted and foster kids dealing with the impact of trauma makes her feel stronger. There’s so much power in knowing you aren’t alone.

Related Posts

Who Would Be Your Celebrity BFF? Mine Would Be Angelina Jolie.

I was a dinner party recently and after a couple glasses of wines, with all the standard pleasantries out of the way, someone out of the blue asked us all a totally random question. It wasn’t in keeping with the theme of what we were talking about (I think we may have been discussing how well zucchini has been growing in our gardens this summer or maybe we were discussing how happy – or not – we are that the kids are back in school). Regardless, this particular houseguest hijacked the conversation with their question for all.   Read more >

To the Duggar Naysayers: Have You Visited an Orphanage?

I would put my money on the fact that ninety-nine percent of the naysayers and the ones slamming a good, honest, hard-working, larger-than-normal American family that is open to expanding their family through the blessing of adoption have never, ever set foot in a foreign orphanage. Have they ever seen children lying in their own waste for most of the day? Have they ever heard the cries of a little one who goes unnoticed by caregivers?   Read more >

Transracial Adoption: "If Only We Were the Same Color, Everyone Would Leave Us Alone."

I’d never once in my life imagined that I would find myself, along with my husband and friends, on a beautiful, sunny day in Mexico City, surrounded on all sides by “Federales” (Mexico City police) holding machine guns.   Read more >

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.