Divorce: A Child's Perspective
I was reading an incredible blog post from The Blue House Blog, written by Melissa from the Blue House. She wrote a brilliant post about divorce and the challenges that come with it. The title of it is, "An Open Letter: Comtemplating Divorce? It's Hard! I must say, it got me to thinking. I thought about my own parents and their divorce. I thought about how many children really do deal with heavy backlash of divorce. Many, thinks that things are their fault. If it's a younger child, they'll ask the question. They'll ask if they are the reason why the divorce happened. Some may even say, 'Maybe if i'd clean my room and ate my veggies and brushed my teeth without being told, then maybe they'd still be together. Or if they over hear their parents arguing about money, they might think, 'Well, maybe if I hadn't asked for that toy or video game that I wanted, then maybe they wouldn't be arguing about money.' So many kids talk to their friends at school. Some of their friends comes from a divorced home and maybe able to help them. Then, some didn't come from the same situations. So, those kids might not be able to relate. But, these kids are looking for something. They are looking for help. They are looking for answers. And unfortunately, many of them, go out and look into all of the wrong places. Sometimes, they start to hang out with all of the wrong people. Sometimes, young women begin to second guess themselves. They begin to like and fall in love with all of the wrong men. They begin to look for somebody to love them. On the flipside, young men have a hard time accepting that they are going to have to step up and be the man of the house at such a young age. Many of them are expected to step up, get a job, possibly help raise their younger siblings. This can be a lot of pressure. They,too can fall into the wrong crowd.
The pressures that can occur with coming from a divorced home, can be challenging from time to time. And many of them blame their mistakes on one simple excuse. So many young people will say, 'If my Daddy or Mom had been around, then I would have been better. I could've done better.' Well, to me, these are just sorry excuses. And trust me, I'm not trying to be insensitive, but this is a fact. We do face many hard times, disappointments, hurt feelings, lies and much more. But, we determine our own lives. Yes, all of this may effect us, but it doesn't have to strip away our happiness. We can do whatever we planned on doing with our lives, when we were little. We can be Doctors, Lawyers, Singers, Actors, Scientists, whatever we desire. We don't have to let this experience destroy us and our lives. We can overcome all of this. It doesn't have to keep us from getting married, having kids and leading fulfilling lives.
Our lives is determined by what we do and say. So, there is no reason why we have to allow of this to ruin who we'll become, when we grow up. Our lives deserve to have us and we need to give it our undivided attention. We need to show other young people that are going through this hard time, that it does get better and that we are not a product of this circumstance.
I just want all of us do our best and be our best. I think that all of us, young people are role models, whether we want to admit it or not. We are more responsible for the outcome of the world than we know. We must get ourselves together. As I always tell me, Don't worry about those that has done you wrong. They'll get theirs. You just continue being the person that God has created you to be. Discover your best self and be all that you can be. If you feel that you should be a soldier and become a part of our excellent military, then you do that. And know that we are proud of you and we will be praying for you and we support you. I am proud of all of us and what we've overcome. We've all made it out of some difficult situations and we're still here. And we'll continue to be here. Always remember, God didn't bring us thus far to leave us. Just like he said in Footprints, "When you saw one set of Footprints, it was then that I carried you!" Be bless!