Define Slut

Define Slut

Image via Pinterest

Image via Pinterest

 

Ok, let’s talk about sluts. What are they? Who are they? Is it contagious?

First of all, slutiness is not a disease.  Therefore, the threat of an epidemic is impossible.  More importantly, you cannot get it by associating with a slut.  I know because I have many slutty friends and never have I done a body shot, which is the quickest way to identify one.  Just kidding, all of my friends are super classy ladies and so are those who partake in body shots.  But really, what constitutes slutty behavior?  Sticking your tongue out? Wearing clothes that leave little to the imagination? If this is our criterion, then I too am guilty.

Growing up my mother would always tell me, “Flaunt it while you got it,” and so I did, all of it.  I was 15 and newly equipped with big boobs and a tiny waist.  In my mind, it was like giving a 16-year-old boy a Ferrari and a license, yet telling him not to drive.  Yeah right.  I was proud of my body and wanted to make sure that everyone knew it.  Every day, I’d get sent to the principal’s office for my shorts being too short or for my shirt being too low.  They were.  It got so bad that my AP English teacher took to keeping old shirts handy just in case I needed to cover up, and for the 50 minutes I was in her class, I did.  In spite of my clothes or lack thereof, I got through high school, college, and a master’s degree, and all without getting pregnant or an STD.  My parents are very proud.

Luckily, having always been an honors student with a steady boyfriend, I never earned a reputation as a slut.  Can you imagine what such a stigma might have done to my then very impressionable and fragile sense of self-worth?  It’s enough to make a girl feel really bad about herself and believe that she is worthless.  As if women needed help in this arena.

In retrospect, it’s difficult to say whether I would I have dressed more modestly had I a different mother.  I was a young girl exploring my sexuality.  As with many other things in life, I had to learn through trial and error.   Regardless of what my mother, principal, or anyone said, I needed to figure it out on my own.  After all, sexuality is different for everybody. Eventually, I learned to put more clothes on, realizing that for me, sexy is not something you wear but how you feel.  Sometimes I feel sexy when I wear sweats, sometimes in stilettos. Neither says anything about my sexual habits.

I’m not suggesting that “sluttiness” is a phase that every girl goes through, or needs to go through, but rather that it happens and it doesn’t have to mean a girl is ruined.  In fact, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

“My short skirt is not proof that I am stupid or undecided or a malleable little girl.” –Eve Ensler.

While I’m sure those who say otherwise mean well, participating in this fallacy is dangerous.   For it is with this mentality that people are able to justify raping girls who are “promiscuous.”  They give rise to comments such as,  “I’m not saying she deserved to be raped, BUT….”  I’m sorry, BUT, there is no respectable way to finish this sentence or any sentence like it.

What I find even more interesting is just whose sexual behavior we tend to care about. When Miley posed in a bed sheet at the age of 15 people were outraged.  How could her father allow such a sexual representation of his underage daughter?  And yet, where was the public outcry for underage Taylor Lautner, who had to spend half of New Moon shirtless? Both of them were young. The only difference is that one of them has a penis.

Even as girls mature and become adults, society still feels compelled to protect their virtue.  Poor Britney Spears had to evade the truth about how she lost her virginity well into adulthood whereas nobody has ever harassed Justin Bieber about his first time, which mind you, was likely before the age of 18. Ignoring the fact that this is an inappropriate question to ask anyone, it demonstrates society’s obsession with what girls do in bed.

If that’s the case, then why isn’t anyone concerned about Rihanna? She released her album Good Girl Gone Bad when she was only 19.  The title alone reeks of sex.  Recently, she posted some very seductive pictures of her doing what I can only describe as sexy bikini yoga.  Granted, she’s older now, but unlike some of her other female contemporaries, her sexual demeanor has never evoked a giant controversy.  Quite the opposite. Society reacted as if, such behavior is expected of her. Personally, I don’t find either of them offensive, however, if we’re to criticize Miley shouldn’t we also do the same of Rihanna?  Clearly, there’s a double standard.

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