Dear Dr. Romance: On Dating at Work
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Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. Romance helps you figure out the right and wrong ways to do it.
Dr. Romance on Dating in the Workplace
The problem of dating co-workers is what happens when the relationship doesn't work out. Still, many people find themselves attracted to people at work -- it's actually an environment that's similar to the college environment, which is the easiest place to date.
Research shows that the workplace is where the majority of couples meet. There's a reason for this: Unlike online dating, newspaper ads, singles events and speed dating, the office gives you a chance to actually get to know and even bond with a person before declaring your interest.
The reason so many people date in the workplace, even though it's often disastrous, is that it's easy.
Office Dating Do's and Don'ts
- DO remember that you need your job, and act accordingly
- DON'T get involved with a married co-worker, no matter how much you like each other.
- DO keep your in-office behavior businesslike -- coworkers shouldn't be able to tell that you're dating.
- DON'T share information with your coworkers about your dating situation. You'll become the subject of office gossip.
- DO understand that, if the relationship has problems, you may wind up having to change jobs.
- DON'T suddenly start dressing provocatively at work; it will alert your coworkers that something's going on.
- DO remember your e-mails; phone calls, etc. are not private. If you must talk to your in-office inamorata, use your cell phone in a private space, where you can't be overheard, or talk in code.
- DON'T allow yourself to be used by someone else in the office to get influence or information, and don't cuddle up to your boss in hopes of a promotion or raise.
The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again has many more guidelines to make modern dating fun, safe and successful.
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.