When I was in grade school, a rift developed in the group of friends that I belonged to. I can’t remember the reason for the split, but there was a clear division and so you were on one side or the other. I picked one, but I guess my heart wasn’t really in it, because I remember saying to one of the girls, that even though I was on the other side, I would still speak to her, albeit in secret.
Sometimes though, the kid in us stays with us. What would you do if a friend of yours has a falling out with a friend of hers who is only an acquaintance of yours? Do you also stop speaking to that person? Do you pretend not to see the person when you see the person? Are you equally offended that your friend has been offended?
I know of a couple who had been dating for a while, with the female having expectations of marriage. They were part of a group of friends, who would frequently socialize together. However, the couple broke up, and the male in the relationship was ostracized by the group of friends, since everyone took the female’s side. I often wondered what would happen if perchance the couple ever got back together.
Every day we choose sides because it tells others which team we’re on, and that’s fine, because I really like to know who isn’t in my corner. That way, I know what kind of swing to take - and when to duck. But while most people investigate the teams they choose, some join strictly because of who is on it. Regardless of the facts.
Sadly for me, the division in grade school continued for quite a while, and even though some of us eventually gravitated back to each other, it remains something that I regret even now.
Happily, the couple I mentioned above did in fact reconcile and is engaged to be married. Some members of the group may have misgivings about this, but she has obviously made up her mind. I don’t know what side they’re on now, but I’ll find out where they sat during the wedding.