Bringing Sexy Back
Ahhhhh, Valentine's Day.
I'm going to take full advantage of this obvious love infused day as the perfect time to return to one of my favorite (and too long neglected) topics – nurturing our beautiful core essence, aka the Inner Diva. With the end of the Mayan calendar behind us, and the fabulous New Year, still so fresh, it's time to talk about things that are simple, nurturing and sexy.
It’s time to get back into a rhythm. But finding a groove and getting your mojo back after the holidays can be pretty tough. You just spent the last couple of months overindulging with favorite sweets and holiday drinks. You probably came close to, or entirely destroyed your credit card with all of the purchases you made for family, friends and coworkers. Your life is overflowing with all the things you did or didn’t get to do this holiday season. The holidays are stressful, and the clean up can be more so.
But there’s a reason we all make resolutions for the New Year! And now, just a month later, it's time to really consider what it means to start over, to rid yourself of negativity and to make your life better. What better way to do that than to celebrate LOVE! The wellspring of all things hopeful, inspiring and sexy!
And let's be real, many of our resolutions have fizzled, so in the spirit of being fully present in this moment, let’s just focus on one more thing you should add to your "resolution-turned-love" list–one that probably doesn’t show up most years.
Let’s put a focus back on our relationships, because part of being Spiritually Sexy means standing in your power, honest, open and interested in supporting the one with whom you share your life. Not that the relationships we have with our friends, family or kids aren’t significant. They are all important and should always be worked on, but this year, let’s make a resolution to have a stronger relationship with our spouse or significant other. It’s natural for relationships to slow down, lose some of its flame and become quite routine, but it’s time to kick this natural progression in the butt and get your relationship back in shape. Make a promise to yourself and your spouse that you’re going to put more effort in. Use some of these tips get the changes going.
Reinstate date night.
When was the last time the two of you really spent some alone time together? If it’s been awhile, it’s time to drop the work, ditch the kids and go out. Even after this obligatory one-night-a-year forced romantic night, how about considering this as a monthly deal? Hit up your favorite restaurant, wine bar, old school make out spot, or even combine resolutions and get some exercise together. When you go out make a pact that you’re not going to talk about work or the kids. It’s hard not to, they are your life, but try your hardest to have a conversation about something else. Doing something new together will be a great way to inspire new conversation.
Talk every day.
Think about it. How much do you actually talk to your partner? Sure life gets busy and stressful, but that doesn’t mean conversation have to dwindle to always turn to business. Just like in the above, try to have a conversation with your partner that doesn’t revolve around work, bills, problems or the kids. But unlike the above, you don’t have to wait until date night to make that happen. Try to spend 15-30 minutes every day just talking to your partner. You just might learn something new about them if it’s been awhile since you’ve really bonded.
Compliment each other.
We start to take our partners for granted. We know what their hair looks like all the time, all of their outfits and the way they shave or do their make up. Just forget about it and let them know when they look pretty. Let them know you appreciate them and all the things they do. Tell them you love the way they cook a certain food, the way they know how to calm you down or the way they’ve been styling their hair. It’s a few little words each day that can make a big difference in your relationship. They will likely follow suit and begin complimenting you back. A compliment has the ability to change your entire outlook, make you happier and feel closer to your partner.
Try new things in the bedroom.
Keeping things new in the bedroom can be kind of hard after a few years, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Spend a few Sundays this year entirely in bed–like you used to when you first met. Stretch beyond your comfort zone, try some new lingerie, role playing and talking dirty, if you haven’t already. This year, promise each other that you will try a new position each week. If you want to really get a little crazy, take a page out of the 50 Shades of Grey playbook, buy a few new sex toys for each other. If you’re feeling daring and desire some spice in the bedroom, incorporate light bondage or even a sex swing from Adam and Eve.
Set common goals.
Along with your resolutions, the two of you should sit down and talk about realistic and unrealistic goals that you would like to achieve. Find common ones in both categories and try to work together to make a few realistic and maybe even an unrealistic one come true. Working together to achieve mutual goals will not only make you happier and feel accomplished, but it will also build a stronger foundation for the two of you.
Don’t forget that playful, sensual and empowering fun is best shared with a partner after you’ve learned to be satisfied on your own. And, if you don’t currently have, or are actively seeking a life partner remember energy follows thought, so keep your mind open and available to invite your new possibilities and opportunities in. The best way to do so is by understanding your first line of communication, intimacy and enjoyment must be shared with your inner Diva. After all that’s why C batteries were invented, weren’t they?
Photo Credits: thebilliondollarbeauty.com, pixmac.com, penelopeoasis.com
DIVA MAMA ~ SHIRA ADLER
I use my voice to help you elevate and celebrate yours!