I’ve been neglectful of this blog. I don’t mean to — I used to blog daily or at least every other day.
Am I out of ideas? Nope. I keep a long list. Am I unable to remember how to blog? Not that I’m aware of. What am I? I’m overwhelmed. That’s what I am. Overwhelmed.
You know how you have 9 months to prepare for the birth of a child. You read 1,345 books. You talk to every single person in the UNIVERSE that is a parent for advice. You take classes. You see your doctor and as 12,998 questions. 9 months of planning, preparing, getting ready. And it’s STILL scary, right? Right. But you ask, read, figure it out.
When your parent becomes very ill…suddenly? You got nothing. Not one damn thing.
No plan No ideas No vision No studying No help
Nothing…nada. Because you didn’t HAVE 9 months to plan the who/what/where/when. Right? Because the doctors found something horrible. Because it was more than just that horrible “c” word….it was exhaustion and complications and weakness and heart issues and and and and and. And he feels awful and tired and weak.
So, no way to be prepared. To EXPECT the next day. To UNDERSTAND what to do. To PLAN for the outcome. To THINK your path is set then learn it’s gone to crap. In a day. To crap.
I haven’t taken a “How to Help Your Suddenly Ill Parent” class. I haven’t read up on all the drugs, advancements, etc. I can barely keep up with the names of the various doctors/nurses/techs/therapists. Seriously….barely.
But I’m doing it. And my family is doing it. And, as God is my Witness, we are doing allll we can. I just feel…overwhelmed. I work at hospital for a bit. Then come to the office. I’m not traveling so I stay close. I think we have a care plan, and then it blows in the wind, when we find something new.
I still have 2 boys to get in school and the billion animals we have. Which are things I know and understand.
My sick Daddy? That one is the kicker. That one has a game change daily. That one — is scary.
Love, Hateful Joy