Bless Your Heart: A Defeated Mom in the Shoe Aisle
Bless your heart.
Thats what a lady told me today in Target while my youngest was on the ground screaming on top of her lungs. She too was a mom of younger kids probably around 6 years of age.
It all started with a stupid cart. I no longer like carts. I dislike carts now or maybe dislike is too subtle of a word; I hate carts. I know I shouldn't say the word "hate" because I teach my own kids not to use such a harsh word. Helen did not want to sit in the cart, therefore I strapped her in nice and tight so she couldn't slither out and stand up. Let the screaming rage begin. Usually once we walk in the store, she is distracted enough and settles down. Well, that was far from the case today.
We kept about in the store, trying to stop in the shoe aisle -- where Helen then decided to throw herself on the floor and have a total meltdown. Nothing at this point was going to satisfy her. I couldn't even touch her without her bellowing out an ear piercing scream. She no longer even wanted to walk, which is what she wanted to do in the first place! I tried and tried and tried again for what seemed to be 10 minutes and maybe to others around us as well, but in all reality more like 3 minutes of being in the store. People stared at us, literally looked around the aisles -- and a nice lady then said, "bless your heart." Little did that the nice lady know I was about to have a meltdown myself as a parent. I grabbed Helen up off the floor and the 2 oldest followed behind as tears started falling.
For the first time in my life as a parent, I officially felt defeated. Ultimately defeated like I was stomped on and someone had put a big sign in front of my face saying, "You lose!" There have been moments where I've felt defeated as a parent, but nothing compared to this. Not with an audience in public.
Once we arrived back to the car, I sat Helen in her car seat. In a firm voice, I had a little chat with her. I think she understood what she did was naughty and hurtful to Mommy. She leaned over and gave me a hug and melted my heart. We tried again and this time I chose to let her walk. The second time around she was calm, held tightly on my finger as we walked through Target. I'm sure people might have been confused if she were the same child. Ha ha.
After all, I felt accomplished. I overcame being defeated. I, as a parent, won the battle.