Being a mom these days means also being a detective!

Being a mom these days means also being a detective!

When I decided to become a mother it was no light decision for me. I had always said I didn't want children, and to be honest, I meant it.  I had many men come and go in my life, and never wanted to have children.  Then the day finally came and I met a certain man and decided maybe being a mom wasn't such a bad idea.

A few years later along came my "Joe Cool".  I was so excited, and scared all at the same time.  I was also full of hormones and went through a short period of "postpartum blues".   It probably didn't help matters that I transferred from San Diego to Pensacola Florida when Joe Cool was only 6 weeks old.  That was a bit crazy.  Trying to schedule a military move, and handle being a new mom was quite a doozy!!  Not to mention I had a C-section and had to recover from that as well.    But we managed, and life went on.

Then a couple of years later we were handed a surprise baby, "The Genius".  He was so different from Joe Cool.  He was wiggly, and wouldn't lay still, and full of energy.  Energizer bunny baby for sure!

We definitely had our hands full.  Their father was a stay at home dad and went to college in the evenings.  I was in the Navy working a full time job, and taking care of the kids in the evening while hubby went to school.  It was a busy time.  I thought It was demanding. I thought it was difficult.  Joe Cool is currently 16, and The Genus is 14.  Looking back on those times when they were little and required so much attention, I now realize that those were the easy times of being a parent.

Now don't get me wrong, those days had their challenges:  Learning to poop and pee in the potty.  Learning how to do things for themselves. Letting them "cry it out" at night as I sat outside their bedroom doors listening to them cry and call for me, and crying myself. But even with all of that, those years were wonderful years. My boys adored me. I reigned supreme as "The Mommy".  What I said went, and there was no arguing.  Just a little time out could work wonders.  I always knew where they were, who they were with and what they were doing.  (Yes, I know I am a control freak.)

Joe Cool and The Genius when they were 6 and 4
Joe Cool and The Genius when they were 6 and 4

Now that they are teenagers things are so much more complicated.  They have internet access, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter accounts.  They have phones (as long as they can pay their phone bill), with internet access.  So I learned about Facbook and Instagram and Twitter etc, so I would understand their world.  I put programs on the house computer to monitor screen shots and keystrokes, etc, so I could see what they were up too.  I set parental controls on their phones so they can't text during school, or after 10:00 when they should be in bed on school nights. All of it exhausting work.

Then I had to become a detective.  Asking, "Who are you going to be with?"  "What are you doing?"  "Where are you going?" "When will you be home?" "Who is driving?"  "Will there be adults present at this event?"  "Will there be girls there also?"  "Do you like any of them?"  "Will there be adults present?" Around and around I go.

Then just to be even more sure I was getting the straight story I put a "Locator" service on our phone account where I can see where they are based on where their phone is.  Anyone who has a teenager or young adult knows that they are NEVER very far from their phones!!

I was proud of myself, and thought I was on top of things.  Boy, was I wrong.  Because THEN I found out about Kik.

Kik is an app they can download onto their phones for free so they can text other people that have the app, and it doesn't go through the phone account.  So they can text all night long, and I would never see anything on the phone bill, and although I can "lock" their phones at a certain hour, I can't make the data stop at a certain time, so they can still have access to the internet and their apps.

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