Advice from a Surrogate to Intended Parents
I am a former gestational carrier. In 2006, I delivered a healthy baby boy to his parents. Unlike most other surrogates, I have also experienced a personal battle with infertility. Due to a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), I needed fertility treatments to achieve each of my pregnancies.
Which means that while I have the perspective of a gestational carrier, I also have been an expectant mother after infertility. Being an expectant mother after infertility is an emotional blend of excitement and worry. Being an expectant mother via surrogacy adds in a unique layer of feelings and concerns.
Though using surrogacy as a pathway to parenthood is on a rise, there still aren’t many readily-available resources to help guide expectant intended mothers through their joint pregnancy experience. Many surrogates and intended mothers have asked me for guidance throughout their surrogacy journeys.
This printable crib sheet answers some of the questions that I am most frequently asked by expectant intended mothers:
- How communication with your surrogate might change during pregnancy.
- Making heads or tails of your concerns and worries.
- Keeping lines of communication open without being overbearing.
- Developing a joint birth plan with your surrogate.
- Baby feeding options available to you as an intended mother.
- Adapting to new motherhood!
Kymberli Barney (aka JW Moxie) is the writer behind The Smartness, where she writes with razor-sharp honesty and humor about life with her husband and four children. Kymberli is the Staff Scheduling and Teen Writer Coordinator at AimingLow.com and is the Public Relations Representative of SurrogateMothersOnline.com. Her writing has been featured on HLNtv.com and she was included on allParenting.com’s lists of top mom and infertility bloggers. Kymberli was named as a 2012 BlogHer Voice of the Year.
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