Adoption......It's Personal

Adoption......It's Personal

my family

This is a subject that is close to my heart and since I’m so protective of my girls, I don’t talk about this very often. Lately, there seems to be a lot of TV programs that talk about this subject and a lot of times you only hear the negative side. Also, when I do bring up the subject and let people know that my two youngest girls are adopted, I’m always asked if their problem children or I’m told that I’m a saint(which I’m not) because I took these girls into my home.

I can only speak from my experience, but nothing could be different from the truth. I have had several friends tell me that I should share my story and I have been hesitant because I want to protect my girls, but I feel like this might be the time because there needs to be a different light on the subject.

zac and cass

ben

I met my husband when I was 17 years old, after I graduated from high school and I had just started college. We married the following summer and to our surprise, Jessica decided she couldn’t wait, and she was born the next year. By the time I was 26 years old, I had 4 kids and I couldn’t be any happier. At that time, we decided that we were done having kids and I would brag that I would be so young by the time my kids were grown that I could just spoil myself and not have to buy cheap clothes from Kmart.

Life was great!!! My kids were amazing and very successful in the things they were involved in. I truly only thought about having more children a couple of times. Then it happened, Jessica had just gotten married and Cassie was off to Snow College to play softball and I had stopped working full time. I thought to myself, it’s my time, I can take any path I want.

Talking with my sister Sydney, on the phone one night, she was so excited because she had just been hired for a job that she was thrilled to have. I had this sinking feeling, at that point, I wasn’t going to be that excited about getting job, like Sydney! I decided that I was going to take my time and decide what I really wanted to do; work, go back to school, etc.. I started praying more than I usually do and REALLY read my scriptures, hoping to find a answer.

One night, I had a dream about two cute little girls and one of them had curly hair. In my dream someone mentioned that the mom had nothing to do with them and the grandma took care of them. I woke up in a startle. I have never thought I was one that would receive inspiration, especially from a dream! I figured that it was just a dream, but the seed was planted and I realized that was one of my options.

My husband was not thrilled, to say the least, but the feeling was so strong and would not go away that I had to look into it. I called foster care to set up an appointment to be prescreened. The caseworker did not show up, so I thought that was my answer to my pray, but the feeling would not go away!!!!! My husband suggested that I go see a therapist, I did, and all he wanted to do is put me on anti depressants and didn’t want to help find the root of the problem. I even went through the motions to become a volunteer for the United Way and knew that wasn’t the answer.

We looked into adopting another way with from funds available through Mike’s work. Mike decided if I had to do this that we should adopt a baby through LDS Services. We went to our appointment and I explained our situation  to the counselor. The worker looked at me, and asked if we had thought about going through foster care. I explained what had happened and I had taken it as a sign. She asked me if I thought Satan was trying to stop what I was doing. I had chills!!! She told me that she would put our name in the Temple and she would pray for us.

That night, I had the same dream. I woke up and asked Mike if we could try one more time and we would only take one case from foster care and if I was wrong, we would be done!!!!! Mike agreed, and I started the process. Mike was so upset with me that I went to most of the foster classes by myself. Yes!!!!!! I was worrying the whole time how this was going to effect my family and I didn’t know how I would answer questions from people if we did get kids from foster care. I did worry that we would get kids with issues that I wasn’t prepared to handle. I did not want to be selfish. My family has always been my first concern and this was out of character for me to pursue something that my husband strongly disagreed with. I was in complete turmoil, crying most everyday until my boys would come home from school and then I would try to put on my happy face.

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