8 Simple Rules For Moms Visiting Their Adult Children
- Be An Adult -- You're no longer the big kahuna in your daughter's life. She doesn't always do everything your way. That also means that possibly you have to endure things not being done the way you like it when you're invited to spend time with her. Don't spend the entire visit sulking, because things are different than how you want them. You spent years teaching her to not act like a spoiled brat, don't start acting that way yourself now that she's grown.
- Don't Use Guilt As a Weapon To Get Your Way -- Guilt, if you watch television, is supposed to be a mother's weapon to get children to do what she wants. In reality it is a weak, lame, and hurtful attempt at getting your way. You may get what you want for a while, but you're also planting the seeds for resentment and eventually a skin so thick that empathy of any sort for you disappears.
- Be Gracious and Remember -- Your daughter has a life of her own and probably a job of some sort. She has a home and family all her own. She has friends and schedules to keep up with. I'm not suggesting you bow down with graciousness if she deems to spend time with you, but I am suggesting that you make yourself aware that she's taking time out of her life to spend with you. Daughters don't always have time to drop everything and spend a day shopping or just running around for a day. Most have about fifteen things they could be doing while they're spending time with you, and if they don't do them they don't get done. Whereas you may have more free time than you know what to do with now, your daughter is probably in the busiest, most hectic phase of her life. Time is precious and don't make her regret spending some of it with you. You were her parent for the years she needed a parent. Now is the time finally to try to just be her friend.
Any other advice you'd like to share?
Photo Credit: greencolander.