Someone once gave me a complex about orgasms. They told me I am hard to get off.
The problem is when someone is going down on me, I kind of expect magic. I expect that I should be getting off immediately and I know that it feels good, it is erotic to look down and see someone's head buried between my legs and it really is one of my favorite things. However, even though it feels good, if the moment doesn't happen early on my mind begins to wander and I get frustrated. I get nervous that they're going to get tired or upset.
Those nerves and those frustrations of my own make orgasming orally nearly impossible at times.
You see, unlike 71% of women, I can orgasm from actual penetration during sex!
Image credit: Eric Amanranth
As long as my partner can hold on and hold out, we've got this in the vag bag.
A couple things to remember is that different women orgasm from different stimulus. It isn't all just about ass, titties, and twat. Each part our body is laced with different nerves and they all provide different sensations. That said, it is really up to your body to decide what it likes, then it is up to you to tend those needs.
Some things to keep in mind:
Tell him/her what it is that you like. Don't be afraid to voice what you want. Use words like harder, slower, faster, up, down, or even full changes like "use your fingers". It is no strange occurrence for me to yell "Bite me" during oral sex. It is usually going to give me that extra stimulus (and also bruises).
If you start thinking about it and stressing out it won't happen. I know this for a fact. I also know that it is much easier said than done. But if you find you're mind wandering, switch it up. Change position. Go from oral to intercourse. Do something. Even taking a small break from oral can give you the piece of mind that when he continues, s/he wants to be there. And it is a little bit of the give and take to know they're getting something, too.
- Accept how your body reacts
I've received a variety of orgasms in my experience. Oral, vaginal, anal...and something special. Our bodies are like little road maps to beautiful destinations and you should really take the scenic route. You honestly never know what you will find. The term "Hidden G Spot" is one that you may discover has quite magical properties.
Orgasms for a lot of people are not the end goal of intimacy. They are for me. Do any of you go through anything like this? Trouble getting your rocks off? Is it easier to masturbate? We won't talk about faking but I'm sure we have all been there. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.