6 Lies Stay-at-Home Moms Tell Themselves
I've heard it all before: stay-at-home moms with endless excuses, reasonings, logic and lies that we tell ourselves (and other people) of how and why we are the exceptions to many social norms.
"I'm too busy as a SAHM to be able to do that during the day."
"People should understand because I'm a SAHM."
"Well, that's easy for her to do because she's not a SAHM."
Ladies, it's all bull. It really is.
Now, you need to know some background about me. I'm currently a stay-at-home mom. My kids are in school (ages 11 and 8), so while yes, I do have more time during the day to get things done than a mom with 2 toddlers at home, understand that I was once a SAHM to a newborn and 2 1/2 year old; to a 1 year old and 3 year old; to a 2 year old and 4 year old. So, I've been there, done that, and yes, I got the freaking t-shirt.
Over the years I have developed some big pet peeves of things I've heard come out of the mouths of other stay-at-home-moms, or things I've seen with my own two eyes. And as a woman who lived this life and still lives this life, yes, I feel I am more than qualified to voice my opinions.
Now, please keep in mind that these pet peeves apply to everyday stay-at-home moms with no extenuating circumstances. Moms with twins, triplets or more kids that are the same age -- exempt. Moms with 4+ kids -- partially exempt. Moms with special needs kids -- exempt. Moms who homeschool -- exempt. Y'all are more than pulling your share of stress and craziness, so my heart goes out to you all.
For the rest of us, brace yourselves: I'm sure something on this list will get under someone's skin.
Exhausted mom photo via Shutterstock.
1. "I don't need to shower." I've heard it so many times before. "I'm just a SAHM, I don't need to shower everyday," or even worse, "I'm a SAHM to a newborn/toddler/teenager—I don't have time to shower during the day." Ladies, showering on a regular basis keeps you feeling human. It revitalizes you and gives you even just ten minutes to yourself to recharge. And if you have one child at home and are a SAHM, you have time to shower, for Pete's sake. The child will sleep eventually, and even if you have to wait until they are in bed at night or set an alarm for ten minutes earlier in the morning, you can facilitate a shower. I understand that if you don't do much during the day and don't leave the house; there is that side of you that whispers, "You don't need to shower today," but ignore that voice. Do it for yourself. Do it to teach your child(ren) good hygiene habits. Just do it.
2. "It doesn't matter how I look. I'm just a stay-at-home mom." Honey, you should care how you look. Too many times I have seen a frazzled looking mother at the grocery store, kids hanging all off of her, wearing a vomit stained shirt and holey sweat pants. Don't be that mom. Now, I'm not saying become a 1950s housewife whose hair is perfect, makeup is perfect and who wears a dress and heels to mop the floor. But take pride in your appearance. After taking that mandatory shower (see #1 above), take 5 minutes to put on some clean clothes and get yourself feeling feminine again. So many SAHMs get lost in being so-and-so's mom and forget that they are individual women first.
I woke up one morning as the stay-at-home mom of a two-year-old and four-year-old who took a shower once every three days, wore old PJs around the house, never bothered to do my hair or makeup, and looked hard at myself in the mirror. No wonder my self-esteem was below normal. No wonder my husband and I never had sex. No wonder I didn't feel like myself anymore, or even a woman for that matter. It was that day that I made a promise to myself to take care of myself. I showered everyday, put on comfy clothes that made me feel great (my go-to is a tank top and jeans), and even ran a brush and some product through my hair and spent five minutes on makeup, even if I wasn't leaving the house. The result was amazing. Almost instantly you are reminded that you are a beautiful, sexy woman who yes, is a mother, but that's not all she is. You breathe life back into yourself again, back into your sex life again, and as a result, your kids get a more positive you. It's a win-win.
For a five minute SAHM makeover, take a few minutes to figure out what your quick go-to products are. For me, it's face powder, eyeliner and mascara. My sister's three are tinted concealer, mascara and lip gloss. It takes me all of three minutes to apply these things, so I do so—every day. Some days I'll spritz some body spray on and feel even more feminine. Even if you don't like wearing makeup, find a hair product you and body spray and take five minutes to pull yourself together. If you do wear makeup, but it takes forever to apply, then pick out no more than four products and spend a few minutes in the mirror perfecting the quick application of these products. I promise you that it takes less than five minutes to go from tired SAHM to a feminine you, and the emotional boost is amazing!