50, Fit and Fabulous: Week Four
In July, a month before I turned 49, I started a journey of weight loss just as my son was diagnosed with cancer. I am determined to face 50 and the empty nest feeling fit and fabulous with my son's health fully restored. I believe the journey is more fun and more doable with good company. If you have goals you need to work on, walk with me on this path each week and let's journey with each other. Together, I know we can.
I've been in battle all week-- with food and how much I focus on it and how much I consume it. It's been a tough fight, and I feel battered and defeated after this round. I'm up 3 pounds and although holding this weight, I'm so very afraid I'm going to give up the fight, give in, and gain back the weight I've worked so hard to lose.
It's not an ungrounded fear. I've done it before. I lose weight-- enough to feel a bit better in my clothes-- and then I get complacent, and lazy, and my motivation and determination duck out of sight. I can't access the feelings. Food tempts me and before I know it, I'm back in the habits I know intimately, the ones that require no thought and make me feel comfortable, even as they make me feel like a failure.
I know I'm in trouble when I:
- start snacking without counting the calories or measuring the quantities
-refuse to log on and track what I've eaten and look my calorie count in the eye
- crave and consume all the foods I've listed as "forbidden" in the last three weeks
- start telling myself "just this one day of not counting... or one bite...or one meal" won't hurt me.
Here's what really gets me: this isn't a battle with food; it's a battle with my emotions. If I "feel" motivated, then I will do well. When the feelings are gone-- for whatever reason-- I start to stumble. I'm emotionally dependent on how I face food. I've always claimed I'm not an emotionally-motivated eater, but I'm beginning to think that's not the case. I think I'm highly dependent on my moods and feelings to eat well and healthy and equally emotionally focused when I start sinking into a hole of unhealthy sugar, carbs and excessive quantities.
Eating healthy has to be a choice I make for my health, for my goals, regardless of whether or not the feelings line up. I know this. I may not "feel" like making choices that further me along, but I must persevere anyway. This week's goal is to look beyond the emotional feelings-- they are fleeting and fickle, not to be depended on.
Are you an emotional eater?
How do you move beyond the feelings and stay focused on the goal?