The 3 M's: Are You Ready to Move for Love?
Almost exactly one year ago, I moved the contents of my home into a storage facility and tried to stuff as many things as humanly possible into my Saturn Aura to make a move across the country. This would be my first move outside of my home state and I was doing it all in the name of love! I didn't come to this decision easily, but the stars aligned and so did the potential to really make a relationship work. So what were the signs that lead me to make this courageous move for love?
My fiance and I have known each other for 13 years. Most of those years were spent in a platonic friendship with one another. However, when we decided to shift our relationship into the romance category, we were both serious about the commitment. Obviously, if it didn't work out, we would be potentially ending a long-time friendship. So, going into our romantic relationship, we were seriously invested. When it came to the decision to make the move, our goals were the same. We knew that living across the country from each other would be a huge obstacle in developing our relationship and in order for this to blossom in a healthy way, we would need to be in the same place geographically as well as emotionally. When the opportunity presented itself, we were both ready. Before making a move for love, be sure you're both on the same page in your investment in the relationship. The motivation for the move should be mutual!
I was fortunate enough in my relocating experience to be able to keep my current job and telecommute. That means I now get to work in my pajamas (which I love). I realize that is not always a possibility for everyone. The bottom line is, make sure the move is not beyond your financial means. Have a job lined up and some extra cash on hand because getting yourself established in a new town isn't cheap. You also need to be able to do it all without his help! If, God forbid, something fell through with the relationship, you wouldn't want to be stuck in a new town broke, homeless, and without a job. So, be smart. Make sure if things didn't go exactly as planned that you would still be able to make it in a new place flying solo.
When moving to a new place, you must acclimate to a new way of life. This is most certainly a challenge when you've never done this before. Not only do you have to be on the same wave length with your partner and have the money to make the move, you also have to be in the mode to build your life again from the ground up. This means making new friends, finding new places, and getting acquainted with a new set of rituals, rhythms, and regulars. I found this part the most challenging out of the three because moving turns your everyday life upside down. Moving is not anything like a weekend visit with your honey, it's a time of building a whole new life for yourself with a whole new relationship. You have to be prepared for that while also being mindful of the possibility of having to do it alone. Some relationships dissolve. Ask yourself the question, "If our relationship didn't work out, do I have what it takes to be in a new place and start a new life without a new man?"
Once you have all your "M's" in a row, you might be ready for the move for love. At any rate, relocating for love is a serious decision that should take some serious thought. If any of the above standards are not in order before relocating, I seriously urge you to give it a second thought. Make sure you both are on the same page, that you have the financial means to do it on your own, and that you're ready for building a new life for yourself from the ground up! Otherwise, you may not master the move, the move may master you!
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